Meriam Webster defines blog as:

a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer.

I find this troubling for 2 reasons: a) “blogging” has become so prevalent that it became one of those “HEY, A NEW EDITION OF THE DICTIONARY IS OUT, AND LOOK WHAT WACKY AND SUPER-CURRENT WORDS THEY ADDED” segments at the end of the news after they talked about various rape, death and weather events, joining what I’m sure are other timeless and culturally relevant words like “crunk” and “macarena”, and b) it’s known as an “online personal journal” more than anything, which means there’s more sad teenagers and even sadder adults with blogs talking about nothing more than their feelings and personal lives for the entire digitalized world to see. Though I am sort of a hypocrite regarding this, as I was briefly (or not so briefly) caught up in the “I can say anything and there’s a possibility that at least SOMEONE will listen to me?!” fever of the early ’00s, I think as we enter an era where feelings have become another element of you that can be co-opted into getting you to buy shit, it can be considering sad-to-grating that going online and expressing everything you do throughout your day is categorized as important to too many (the advent of viral video, particularly the “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE” dude, has only worsened this trend). In our Celebreality TV universe (which I’m sure I am far from the first to notice that Warhol’s 15 minutes of fame theory has truly manifested itself), the ubiquitousness of blogging further goes to prove that, no matter how obscenely mediocre or unintentionally terrible you are at anything, what you’re doing is important and people should– nay, HAVE TO– pay attention to you and what you’re doing.

So yeah, here’s my blog. In all seriousness, I started this because I have fleeting ideas for opinion pieces, essays, and other assorted crap, and no realistic way in which to publish them. Everything expressed on this BLOG is my opinion, and no matter how full of vitriol and vulgarities it may be, I don’t insist that you swear by it, even if I say you should. (Much like in movies and television where some guy goes into somewhere and says, “No matter how much screaming and begging I do, don’t open the door to let me out.”) For in this hyperfast-paced, microwavable breakfast world we live in, we all must remember that blogging is not important. It is not journalism (being that you can post whatever the fuck you want and not have to have it fact checked) and it is not art. I can promise you one thing, dear reader: I will never forget that in the end, no matter how much I think Heroes sucks or how fucking sweet I think the new Isis album is (whenever that happens), that this is a blog I got for free on the Internet, and there are literally millions of others vying for your attention with the same bloated sense of self importance. At the end of the day, I’m writing this because no one else is paying me for it yet, if they ever will at all. Donations are always welcome…

This blog is brought to you by the fine folks at Arby’s and E*Trade.

This is here for your enjoyment, and it is here for you to ignore. Do what you wish; I’m going to go have lunch.

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